Sunday, June 7, 2009

On relationships

From High Fidelity:

"...what really matters is what you like, not what you are like."

So, they propose "the idea of a questionnaire for prospective partners, a two- or three-page multiple-choice document that covered all the music/film/TV/book bases. It was intended a) to dispense with awkward conversation, and b) to prevent a chap from leaping into bed with someone who might, at a later date, turn out to have every Julio Iglesias record ever made...there was an important and essential truth contained in that idea, and the truth was that these things matter, and it's no good pretending any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently, or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party."

Liking people and having a relationship with people are very different things. I like a lot of people, but it's tough developing meaningful relationships/friendships, and I think a root to this difficulty stems from this cultural rift. It's too difficult to develop relationships with people who don't share some of my same interests in the arts, or at least appreciate the arts. I don't understand those who hate to read books, love only blockbuster films (or even worse, look forward all year to movies like Shrek), and have a singular connection to corporate music from the radio or MTV. Without a wide range of the love of the arts, and without that philosophical connection between the arts and humanity/existence, and of course without some connections between actual likes and dislikes, I am usually lost for conversation after a short period of time. I'm sure this is a failing of mine, but I'm guessing I'm not alone here. What we like matters to our relationships and our conversations.

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